Worth owning.

To understand the disorder

• Otto F. Kernberg, Severe Personality Disorders (Yale University Press, 1984). Dense; foundational. The originating clinical statement of malignant narcissism and the broader severe-personality-disorder framework.
• Heinz Kohut, The Analysis of the Self (1971). Self-psychology's account of narcissism. Theoretical, but the inner-life picture has shaped much of how clinicians think about it.
• American Psychiatric Association, DSM-5-TR (2022). The diagnostic manual itself; the NPD criteria run a few pages and are worth reading directly rather than through summary.
• Aaron L. Pincus & Mark R. Lukowitsky, “Pathological Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 2010. A research-side overview that takes the grandiose/vulnerable distinction seriously.

To recognize the pattern (survivor-facing)

• Ramani Durvasula, It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People (2024). The most current overview from the most accessible contemporary clinical voice.
• Wendy Behary, Disarming the Narcissist. Especially useful when ongoing contact is required.
• Karyl McBride, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers (2008). The standard reference for that configuration; her followup Will the Drama Ever End? covers adult sons.
• Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? (2002). Framing built around male abusers but the entitlement-as-engine analysis translates directly to female covert presentations.

For the legal and co-parenting layers

• Bill Eddy, Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The standard practical manual.
• Bill Eddy, BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People. Short, almost a manual for written communication with a high-conflict ex.
• Tina Swithin, Divorcing a Narcissist. Survivor-written, practical, especially on family-court dynamics.

For the trauma layer

• Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery (1992). The foundational text on complex trauma and on the three-phase recovery model.
• Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score (2014). The contemporary reference on somatic trauma — why talk therapy alone tends to leave parts of the injury intact.
• Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. Especially clear on the “fawn” response, which is overrepresented in survivors of long covert abuse.
• Peter Levine, Waking the Tiger. The originating statement of Somatic Experiencing.

For the broader context

• Robert D. Hare, Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us. Adjacent rather than directly on NPD, but the malignant end of the narcissism spectrum bleeds into psychopathy and Hare's framework matters.
• Martha Stout, The Sociopath Next Door. Popular-press but careful; useful for the “hidden-in-plain-sight” framing.
• George K. Simon, In Sheep's Clothing. On covert manipulation more broadly, not narcissism specifically; useful precisely for the parts that don't fit the narcissism literature exactly.